CoNR's Xanga

Wednesday, January 14, 2004

Wed, 14 Jan 2004 03:30:47 GMT

Operation: Toy Chest is underconstruction and under going much needed planing at the moment.

I will keep you updated as much as possible.

Monday, January 12, 2004

Mon, 12 Jan 2004 00:34:49 GMT

wow.

Just came back home from picking up Allison's homework she left at my Dad's house. On my way back, at a stop light, Some hot chick in a car flashed me.

That is all.

Sunday, January 11, 2004

Sun, 11 Jan 2004 23:41:27 GMT

Today was very Blahish.

That really is all.

But I did manage to get my hands on a nice cup of French Vanilla.
-- I'm beginning to fear I have an addiction.

Sunday, January 11, 2004

Sun, 11 Jan 2004 02:08:37 GMT

Yet, as I suspected, I did nothing at my dad's house. Oh well. Tommorow I'll get home(ish) and such.

I lied, I did work on a personal art project thing. It's a bride and groom kissing on a huge fuckin think piece of wood. I outlined both of the figures so it's just black and white. Damn it's hard to explain; I spent a good 4 hours burning in the black part with a sauder gun (basically an insanely hot metal thing that you plug into the wall; it melted through a traffic cone within 10 seconds, seriously.) But I am very happy with the outcome, truely one of my best yet. I have yet to put the broken picture frame over it. and cut the damn wood, which might as well be impossible with that thickness. Above the figures, I included lyrics which I found appropriate; Thank you Apoptygma Berzerk:

"You may fall in love with someone else today, but I will always love you, anyway." Kind of a dedication to Jordan. Cause she ment something to me.

Saturday, January 10, 2004

Sat, 10 Jan 2004 06:36:54 GMT

Well, we have the assembly next monday or friday, which became an upset for me.

Anywho, it's 13:20 and nothing to do.

Was just at Fraizers house with D3 watching Boondock Saints. We are not obsessed with the movie at all. *suddenly hides his p-coat and Aequitas-Veritas tatoos from the all watching eye*

Um, I am residing at my Father's house tonight; along with my siblings. Tommorow I will continue my boredom cause quite frankly, there is nothing to do here. Ever. Oh well.

Have been thinking about me and Jordan's relationship. I'm not sure if I want it to keep going. She still is controlling and still is really bitchy about stupid shit. Today I told her about my college thoughts and she got pissed off. I was talking to her for advice not talking to her cause I needed someone to yell at me like a parent.

I understand it's much harder to get a good job with no college experience, but look at the good hearted people working at a gas station or taco bell. Some of them have families, and with that job it supports them just enough. And I bet they are gratefull. They don't need a lot of money to feel successful and feel happy. Knowing that they are bringing home food and shelter to their family is satisfying to them. That I truely admire.

Unlike Jordan, Money does not make me that happy. I enjoy the bare minimum and getting something accomplished, no matter how little the deed or task was. I want to do what I love, not generate paper with value.

As of lately, it feels like I can't be my goofy self around her. Or be anything else besides "normal." Whatever the fuck that means.

I spilled my thoughts into text, enjoy the randomly triggered inteligence from within me.

Thursday, January 08, 2004

Thu, 08 Jan 2004 20:40:16 GMT

Something I find completely inappropriate but humorous, is that tommorow at school, we will be having an assembly called "Suicide Prevention Program"

I am looking forward to this.

It's Funny how I started my new book, Survivor, last night. About how the main character's phonenumber was mistaken for a suicide help line, and he never called the company to get his number changed. How he encourages the people to kill themselves. Interesting book by the way, highly recommend it.

Thursday, January 08, 2004

Thu, 08 Jan 2004 02:08:49 GMT

Back to school,

Wow, I forgot how much free time I have during school; thinking wise. I was thinking about college and that whole sha-bang. Quite frankly, my mom shows me that one could work at a mediocre store and get a decent paycheck and yet be able to afford and take care of a house. She went to college and majored in fashion; She works at Folley's. College didn't seem to matter for that job.

As of right now, I would less-than-three to go to a really nice art school, but most of them are out of our financial range and... land range perhaps. In other words, they are outside Texas. Which sucks Bawlz.

I dont want to go to some mediocre college like they would prefer me to. I want to go to an art school that people recognize like RISD. Which funny enough, you dont know of. That's besides the point.

I would not mind working at a department store or a nearby gas station, and owning my own apartment. Hell, I'd find it fun to work as a waiter or bartender at some "fancy-pantsy" restuarant.

I would love to do art for the love of art, not for selling it to some corporation for them to multiply and duplicate prints of it, to eventually send it off and use it as an example with the "Cherry Wood" frame in Isle 18 of Wallmart. Because no one sits there and appreciates that. No one.

Thats my 2 cents.

Tuesday, January 06, 2004

Tue, 06 Jan 2004 23:37:05 GMT

Wow. I survived an entire day without eating / sleeping, as of now i have been awake and living in good condition for a total of 36 hours. around 5 o clock, at work, i nearly fell asleep on my keyboard. but i managed to find some pepsi and continued to survive. This is quite an accomplishment. Basically Me, The Kane, The Fraizer, and Boone Halo'ed all night and watched movies etc. and i didnt want to fall asleep in the day and fuck up my sleep schedual, quite frankly im not ready to be in my vampire mode *up at night sleep in day, aka summer mode* So i will probably pass out/ fall asleep while managing to finish my artwork, which, could be due tommorow or the next day. *shrug*

Monday, January 05, 2004

Mon, 05 Jan 2004 01:12:33 GMT

Gotta love Coil (ambient techno band)

Oh rose, thou art sick
Seduce.. let loose
The vision and the void
Blood sickle.. honey suck

In little children's heavy heads
My dreams erupt while in my bed
Innocence is dripping red

In dreams I walk with you
In dreams I talk with you
In dreams
You're mine
All of the time

Heads on fire and drunken lights
Days devoured by hungry nights
In love's secret domain
This is mad love
This is mad love
In love's secret domain

Sweet tortures fly on mystery wings
Pure evil is when flowers sing
My heart
My heart is a rose
This is mad love, Oh
This is mad love
In love's secret domain

Monday, January 05, 2004

Mon, 05 Jan 2004 00:19:58 GMT

dum de dum.

Woke up round 1 ish today, and got straight on the computer to check up on my songs. Then pretty much after that I went to DJing again. To tell you the truth; I don't think I'm gettin really anywhere with that, but it's damn fun.

hum.

Picked up my brother at his friends house, I was bribed with coffee, Starbucks mind you. That was the Highlight of the day pretty much.

Uh, I was online quite a bit also.

Uh. yeh, thats all folks.